Can't live with him ... can't get rid of the body

I believe I have already discussed my disdain for New Year's and all its celebratory nonsense. So, in keeping with my convictions, I will rant on another topic, namely, relationships. I have been with the same man for 26 years (20 of them married) and, as my husband says (jokingly? ... you decide) he could have killed a man and been out of jail by now. Same here, buddy ... same here. We met when I was 16 and I thought he was the coolest thing in a black leather motorcycle jacket that I had ever seen. Later, I would come to find out, he was also the highest. Love bloomed ... for me, anyway. He had other interests (beer, pot, paraphanelia) and girls were not up among them. Eventually, I grew on him (or I should say, my willingness to give it up to him was hard to turn down) and he fell, head over heels, (ah, sweet 69) for me. Now, 26 years, 2 children, 1 french mastiff, 2 heart-attacks, 3 funerals and a whole lot of other shit in between have made us who we are ... bitter, mal-contented, 42 year olds with a penchant for peace and quiet and a love of anything opiate based (well, not really, no more opiates ... too hard to get). But, before anyone gets the wrong idea, I should clarify. I love my husband and always have and, I believe, somewhere deep down, he loves me too. It's been pretty scary, too, after his heart attacks. I don't know if I can accurately explain how after 26 years a person's life becomes directly inter-connected with another life. You finish each other sentences (this is not movie bullshit), you don't know how to cook for less than 2, you can't sleep without the snoring and, most of all, you can't conceive, envision, imagine or, even, for a nano-second, contemplate life without that person. It's the scariest crap in the world and I dread every minute that we age. But, I wouldn't trade a second, either. Now, look at me getting all sappy. Ah ... love ... who knew. I'll tell you one of the best things about being married ... you always have someone to kiss at New Year's (not that you need anyone, because it's a bull-shit holiday and you don't). So, tonight, with any luck, I won't be celebrating the end of another year of life, but bringing another one in with a bang ... a quick bang, probably, ... but a bang none the less.