Is anybody out there ...

As usual, my husband and I were up to the wee hours of the morning (playing on-line poker ... any addiction, is a good addiction) and watching the trajedy of those poor W. Virginia miners on CNN. Watching the elation of their relatives when they believed their loved ones were alive, only to be followed by devastation as the truth was finally revealed, was heart-breaking (and I was only a bystander). The whole situation got me thinking about God, the big "G". Now, if your a frequent reader, than you already know that I'm something of a cynic. The flowery "what if's" and "you never knows" were shit-kicked out of me as a small child by reality. So, you really wouldn't think I'd believe in the big guy. Well, I'm not ashamed to say I do. But, I should explain. I don't, actually, believe in an organized religion big guy (though I was raised Catholic, and even though, my Father was a Jew ... another story for another day). I believe there's "something" or "someone" out there. I just don't know what. I've seen to much freaky stuff in my life not to figure there's got to be some overseer to this whole mess. I mean, really, the Boston Red Sox finally winning the series, after sweeping the last four games from the Yankees. If that's not a seventh sign of the apocalypse, than I'm not writing this. But, really, as cynical as I am (and, take my word for it, I am) I just can't wrap my mind around the idea of dying as being turned off like a light switch. I just don't think we're here to be controlled by a clapper made up of bad genes. "Clap on ... clap off". Not me. Now, if we really get into the depths of my depravity, yes, I do believe in heaven. But, no, I don't believe in hell. If this world's not hellish enough for most of us to expect something better ... than I don't know what. And, yes, I believe in Christ. Too much similar information on this one person, throughout history, to be mere coincodence. Do I believe he was the messiah? Good question. I believe, he BELIEVED, he was the messiah and that's enough for me. Now, before I start a holy war, I want to say I'm not certain of any of this and I'm not putting down anyone else's belief's. Heck, I won't even make fun of Tom Cruise and I know scientology is bullshit. Aliens, my ass. So, if you believe something else, good for you. If you believe, like me, that this world is someone's Matrix, someone's idea of a sick joke, than welcome to the club. Either way, my heart and soul goes out to those miners, who were only doing there job, and their poor families put on a roller-coaster ride through hell. May, whoever, be with them and give them peace.