Glory Days ...

About 10 - 12 years ago, I decided to try my hand at writing for magazines. Now, most people will tell you, and they'd be right, that this is not the easiest job in the world to get. It's subjective to the whims, tastes and, outright, bad or good moods of the lowest people on the editorial ladder. However, armed with a good attitude (something of a miracle for me) and the emotional support of family and friends, as well as, some good ideas for articles, I picked up a copy of the Writer's Digest and started mailing queries. The Digest has some really good ideas for how to write a great query. I used some of them, but basically, I was so familiar with my subject (a woman who lost her son to the witness protection program) that the words just seem to flow (for you writers out there, you know when your in the zone). Anyhow, I sent out about 5 or 6 of the same letters, expecting the standard rejection and, eventually, they started to come in. Most were form letters, but one or two had a personalized message. Something like, "Good idea ... can't use it this time ... try again." It didn't matter how small, just the thought that someone took to seconds to actually remark on something I'd written, was good enough for me. Hell, it was great. Than, to my eternal surprise, I received a phone call from a wonderful woman, who it turned out, was the editor of a rather large magazine. She said, she thought my query was really good and enjoyed the idea, but it didn't meet there editorial needs at that time. As I thanked her over and over for calling, I couldn't help but ask the question that was burning in my brain, "Do you think I can make it as a writer?" Her simple answer of "Yes ... yes I do" is one of the happiest moments in my life. No kidding. It was like a lifetime of being rejected for one reason or another was nullified and every possibility of a happy future (not even dreamed of since I was a child) was made real again. And, if that wasn't great enough, about an hour after our conversation ended, I received another call, from yet another editor, who wanted to publish the article. I swear to God, it's true. Anyway, after the article came out, I was able to sell another, smaller one to a smaller magazine. I was riding high. And, than, reality reared its ugly head and my life took it's usual spiral turn down the crapper. All the good things that I felt about myself, all the positive visions I had, were gone in the blink of an eye or, as in my case, the sound of a gavel as the judge gave my youngest daughter back to her bio-mom. After that, I didn't want to write ... not about anything. And, when I tried, I found out I couldn't write. Everything I put down on paper just didn't come out right. Maybe, it was the depression. Maybe, it was the 20-30 Tylenol with Codeine and 10-15 percocet I was taking on a daily basis, but, whatever it was, writing was no longer an option. Until now. I have been clean and sober for about 4 months and have come to grips, as much as possible, with the fact that I will never parent the child I thought was mine. I figure, if I can't do it now ... if, after all this time, I still can't make a go of it (when so many other have had less to go on) than I should have never picked up a pen in the first place. So, today I have written my first query in 6 or 7 years. Is it any good? I think so. Will someone buy it? Probably not. But, I have to try. I owe it to that editor so many years ago and I owe it to myself. Wish me luck as I go to recapture my glory days.