foster care - do you really know what you're getting into?

After 5 years of marriage and struggling with non-specific infertility, my husband and I decided to look into adoption. It seemed like a reasonable solution to our desire to screw up innocent children with our own hang-ups. Little did we know. The girls (age 2 and 5) were beutiful but we should have known something was up from the start. I "really" appreciated getting to see their pictures and falling in love with those sweet faces before being told they weren't "actually" freed for adoption yet, but things were in the works to terminate the birth-mom's rights so that situation should have been no problem. Think again, dear readers. It took 4 years to legally free our oldest daughter (diagnosed, early on with ADHD and ODD) and by that time their birth-mother and not only NOT lost her rights to her youngest child, but was petitioning to get her back. Guess who won? So, after 6 years of being the only constants in each other's lives, ACS, family court and a determined (and damaged) birth-mom achieved their goal and re-united a family (God bless their good work). Very long story short and skip ahead 5 years. Our oldest daughter, now 17, and with the lowest self-esteem I have ever seen has run away for the third time (the child hates to be punished when she fails all her classes and spends all her time with a boyfriend) and wishes to be emancipated (so there!) and, surprise, SURPRISE ... the younger child has run away from her birth-mom for the second time (she never got along with her because she never wanted to leave us) and is back in foster-care looking for a home (guess which one?) And, here's the catch 22 ... we can't bring her back here because ACS refuses due to the problems with our oldest. Welcome to my nightmare. Now, I'm not bitter (hee ... hee) but I can't help but think that the system screwed these kids like a lightbulb in a socket. They really never had a chance, if you think about it. The older one could never love herself because her birth-mom fought for her sister tooth and nail but gave her up. And, the younger one never bonded with this woman and resented her for pulling her out of the only family she had ever known. Screwed, blued and tatooed. And, as for me and my husband, well ... I'm not ashamed to say we're crushed, destroyed, practically soul-dead and, on top of all this, straight as pins. God, I could use some percocet and cigarettes. Nothing like being numb for feeling nothing. Anywho, back to my original point, while foster-care may seem noble and in some situations a wonderful way to help a child, or children, while helping your own need to parent, it can, also be, a dark and lonely labrynth, populated with people who are overworked, underpaid, and on a mission to re-unite at all costs. Sometimes, even your soul.